#can't even be happy about getting to watch david in his silly little time travel era :((( for I have been cursed with The Big Sad
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starting watching doctor who for david tennant seems like a great idea until you're confronted with the first season and fall in love with eccleston (absolutely inevitable, no cure, no survivors) and then suddenly he's ripped from you after just 13 episodes (criminal, sick, twisted) and you're thrown into the EmotionTornado3000 (mourning, excitement, insanity)
#anyone who tells you to skip eccleston is a heathen and should not be trusted btw#can't even be happy about getting to watch david in his silly little time travel era :((( for I have been cursed with The Big Sad#this is so conflicting cause on one hand I am like BABYBOY I'VE MISSED YOU WELCOME but at the same time I'm like HOW DARE SIR HOW DARE#can't have shit in this house :((#doctor who#(yes another hyperfixation is taking over) ((yes you will be hearing about it forever and always from now on)) (((no I am not sorry)))
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Her Heavy Cross
Summary: Three years after tragedy hits, Lana she decides to start dating again. She meets Will through a dating app and they begin an online romance. After months of constant requests, Lana relents and agrees to meet and go on an irl date with Will. But is Will who he says he is? Lana is quickly pulled into an intense relationship forcing her to confront her tragic past. Will Lana face it or will she close her heart forever?
Pairing: OMC x OFC
Word Count: approx 3.8k
Warnings: swearing, smut, masturbation
Authors Note: The story started as a Henry Cavill fanfiction but I changed it to be an original character, but shades of Henry are still there. Hope you enjoy the story and thanks for reading.
Part 16 Part 18
Part 17
We got back to Liam's a couple of hours later. I felt exhausted by the time we got back. Finding the right shoes had been a nightmare. I have wide feet and struggled to find something I didn't feel like I was spilling out of.
In a surreal moment, I had found myself debating on whether I should get the Blahnik's or Louboutin's. The prices were unreal, and considering the most expensive shoes I had before those were my Dr Marten's Made in England 1460s, I was out of my depth.
This shop assistant in the shoe department was amazing. He said to go for the Louboutin's because "every woman should have at least one pair in her collection." He made me laugh and was helpful, so despite my misgivings on spending even more on the shoes than the dress, I got them.
The bag had been an easy purchase after that. I got a silver glitter Jimmie Choo clutch. It was half the shoes' price and felt like a bargain.
I hung my dress up, put my shoes and bag in Liam's dressing room and went downstairs to eat lunch with Liam.
"Thank you so much for today. I feel a bit better about the whole thing now that I know what I'm going to wear. One less thing to worry about," I said after we had eaten and packed up. I put my arms around Liam's neck and kissed him.
"You're welcome, Sweetheart. You looked so beautiful in that dress." He kissed me back. "Do you want me to get Ryan to organise an alteration?"
I scoffed, "No, he's probably got enough to do taking care of your shit." I winked. "I can do that tomorrow. I'll also get Jen to do my hair and makeup."
"Riza's wife?" Liam asked.
"Yeah, she does hair and makeup for weddings and formals, so she knows what she's doing."
"Tell her to bring Riza when she comes here, and I can meet them both."
"I'm getting ready here?"
"Yeah, I thought you would. Otherwise, you'll have to get from your place to here all dressed up. And you'll have Perrin with you."
He had a point. "Ok, so next week I'm staying at your place from Thursday until Sunday? Then going to David's and what? Will you stay at mine on Sunday night? Then you come back here on Monday?" Oh, this was complicated.
"Yeah," Liam said like it was no big deal. When you live half your life out of a suitcase, things like that aren't a big deal. Liam looked at his watch. "When do you have to leave?"
"I've got to be at Dave's in a few hours."
"That's just enough time."
"For what?" I asked.
The only warning I got was Liam's bloody twitchy lip. My eyes went wide, and he hoisted over his shoulder again. "For me to have my way with you."
He ran up the two flights of stairs to his bedroom with me giggling at his feat of strength and fitness. I was let down gently on my feet.
I expected Liam to rush me, but he didn't. He brushed my hair from my face as he looked at me with a gentle smile. He seemed so sweet and open that I couldn't help but smile back. I held his hand to my cheek, relishing its warmth, then kissed his palm.
Liam expelled a breath with a short laugh, and his smile grew larger. "I got you another present," he said. "I was going to give it to you on Thursday, but," he rubbed my earlobe, "I can't wait."
"You're very impatient."
Liam nodded. "Wait here." He went to his dressing room and returned with a small jewellery box. Real small. Ring sized small.
I took a step back. I felt cold, sick and my guts churned. Surely, he wasn't that stupid.
Liam looked at me, confused. "Lana, are you ok? You've gone white." I didn't look at him. All I could look at was that little black box. I shook my head.
Liam followed my gaze and must have finally realised why I was looking so sick because he chuckled and said, "it's not what it looks like, Lana." I looked at him, and his eyes twinkled in amusement.
I felt the colour return to my face and covered my face in my hands. "Thank God." I felt a little sheepish.
Still grinning, Liam pulled his hands away from my face and said, "one day, Sweetheart, I certainly hope it will be. Today, however, it's earrings." He opened the box, and inside were two perfect white pearls below a black onyx and diamond setting. They were beautiful. "I know you were joking when you said you needed matching earrings." He shrugged, "I couldn't help myself."
"You got these today? When?"
"I have a confession." Liam's smile was mischievous. "I didn't have to buy a shirt."
I shook my head at Liam, grinning, "you cheeky bastard." I got on my toes and kissed Liam on the cheek. "Thank-you. They are beautiful."
"Will you wear them now?" I nodded and started to take my earrings out. "Let me," Liam said.
Sweeping my hair away from my ear, Liam took my small gold hoops out and put his gift in my ears. He smiled a brilliant smile, revealing just a hint of his teeth. "Perfect," he said, leaning down to kiss me all too briefly. "Go look in the mirror, tell me what you think."
I looked in the mirror in the dressing room, and they were perfect. I played with the earrings. They had such a beautiful yet simple elegance to the design. I felt silly wearing them in my jeans and Joy Division t-shirt.
Going back to Liam, I hugged him again. "Thank-you." I looked into his eyes, so blue and open, and I felt my own tearing up. "You've made me feel special today."
I don't know why I cried. I just knew I felt a warmth in my body, my stomach quivered, and my heart felt like it was trying to escape my chest. I was confused by my feelings. They made me ache, they made me scared, but I also felt happy and safe.
Liam cupped my face with his hands. "Lana, you make me feel that way every day." Using his thumbs, he wiped my tears away.
My next words took us both by surprise. "Make love to me, please?" I didn't mean to say it. The words just fell out as I was swept up in the moment. But it was what I wanted. I wanted to feel love from him, have him hold me again like he had yesterday morning, have him break through my defences, help me tear them down. But more important than what I wanted was what I wanted to give. I wanted to hold him, kiss and caress him, show him how I felt about him.
Liam's face took on a series of changes, moving rapidly from one to another. First, his eyes widened, then he smiled, then his eyes hooded. Finally, he nodded and licked his lips. He leaned down to kiss me, and I closed my eyes. Tenderly, he kissed me, each kiss feathery and light. The ache between my legs was sudden and intense. I kissed him back, matching his mood.
I held Liams head while I got on my toes and kissed his neck. He let out a short groan as I trailed my kisses to his throat. He threw his head back, exposing his whole neck. His hand went to my head, holding me to him. I kissed under his jaw, and his stubble felt sharp on my lips and tongue. I moved down his throat, over his Adam's apple and into the shallow hollow at the base of his neck. Liam ran his fingers through my hair as I went.
I put my hands under his shirt and lifted it, pulling it off with Liam's help. His bare chest made my breath catch, and I reached out to touch him, pausing just short as I had the first night I met him. I smiled at the memory and looked at Liam as I let my fingers sink into his furry chest, his curly hair enveloping them as they did. For a moment, I just let myself feel his warmth through my fingers.
Sliding my arms around his waist, I kissed Liam's shoulder. I felt Liam's hands on my hips, but he let me kiss at his chest as I liked, not hindering me at all, not hurrying me, letting me take my time, allowing me to take control. I travelled across his chest with my hands, mouth and tongue, heat spreading throughout my body as I went. Liam's breath was shallow and rapid as I kissed him. I savoured his smell, texture and taste, hoping to hold onto this moment until I saw him again.
Wanting to feel Liam's skin against my own, I took my shirt and bra off. I embraced Liam as he slid his arms around me, his hands feeling their way up my back. I put a hand to his head and lead his lips to mine. I kissed him slowly, leisurely, enjoying his soft lips while I licked and sucked.
I brought my hips close to Liam's, and we both gasped as we touched.
"Lana," Liam pleaded, rolling his hips into mine, his movements slow and deliberate. "Please, Lana. I need you."
Kissing Liam again, I reached for his pants, undoing his belt. He grabbed for mine, and we undressed each other. Our kisses continued, neither of us wanting to break away. Liam kicked off his shoes and socks and stepped out of his pants. I tried to take mine off, but bloody skinny jeans and Doc's are not easy to kick off.
Liam chuckled when he saw my difficulties. My face warmed. He kissed me as he put his hands under my bottom and lifted me, carrying me the few steps to his bed and sat me on the edge. He got down on his knees and undid my laces, and took my boots and socks off. He pulled my pants and underwear off. To complete the replay of our first night, he held my ankles in his hands before he ran his fingers up my legs, making my skin break out in gooseflesh and my spine shiver.
Smiling at my response, Liam covered his body with mine, and I wrapped my legs around him. Slipping an arm under my waist, he lifted me off the bed and moved me up until my head lay on the pillows. Liam held his weight above me, his powerful arms out outstretched next to my head. He looked so beautiful above me, muscles taut, skin lightly tanned, his face sincere and genuine.
Liam let his body rest on mine, his arms sliding around my shoulders. He let some of his weight onto me, asking, "I'm not too heavy, am I?" I shook my head and nuzzled into his shoulder, sliding my hands under his arms to pull him closer.
Liam made a slight noise of discomfort and rearranged himself before holding me again. I moved my hips and felt myself effortlessly slide against him. A moan escaped my lips as I felt his sex rub against my folds and my point of pleasure. Flares of heat came with each passing, and my mouth sought him, needing his lips, his tongue like I needed air. He kissed me back, and I felt the same need from him, the same desire, the same hunger.
Moving his hips, Liam positioned himself to enter me. He lifted his head and looked at me, his eyes searching for confirmation. I nodded, and he watched my face as he slowly entered me, stretching me, filling me.
It felt like I was whole for the first time in years.
Holding himself still, Liam asked, "are you ok?". Not trusting my voice, I nodded. It didn't help, and the tears came anyway. Liam went to pull out, but I held him with my legs, locking my ankles together.
"Please, don't." My voice was a whisper. Putting a hand to his cheek, I kissed him, my lips firm and my tongue needy. He kissed me back a moment but then stopped and looked at me again.
"But you're crying." He said.
"I'm happy, you idiot," I said softly, smiling at him through my tears.
Liam let out a short laugh. He kissed me again and said, "me too, Lana." He held me tight against him.
We moved with each other, our bodies rocking slowly together. We sometimes kissed, we sometimes just closed our eyes and enjoyed the sensations. Mostly we looked at each other, small smiles on our lips.
"I'm close, Lana," Liam whispered to me.
I smiled at him and nodded. His gentle thrusts became harder now, and I looked into his eyes, watching his expressions change until he called my name, and I felt him release into me.
He let his head fall into the crook of my neck, his deep breaths tickling me. I stroked his hair and caressed his back. We stayed like that, holding each other. It seemed neither of us wanted this moment to end.
I felt Liam's whole weight fall on me as I heard soft snores start in my ear. I chuckled to myself, the poor guy was all tuckered out. I looked over at the bedside clock. I had a bit more time before having to leave, so I stayed holding him until his breaths where long and he had fallen deep into sleep.
I waited until the last possible second before I wriggled out from under Liam and went to have a quick shower. Liam had let me out from under him in his sleep and rolled over. I didn't want to wake him, so I showered upstairs instead of in his ensuite.
I dressed quietly, got my stuff together, went over to Liam, and kissed him on his forehead. He had hummed and tried to grab hold of me in his sleep, but I stepped away, and he relaxed back into sleep.
On the way out, I patted Cole and said goodbye. Cole, being a gentleman, walked me to the garage.
Perrin was happy to see me when I got to Dave's. He dawdled over to me and gave me some licks. It seemed like the kids had worn him out.
The kids weren't tired, though, and begged me to play on the trampoline with them. I rolled my eyes and said to Perrin, "I feel your pain."
Dave, the smart-arse, said to the kids, "I think your Aunty Lana had a big weekend, guys." Smirking, he continued, "she's probably had a lot of exercise."
"You're a dickhead." I said back to him.
The kids giggled their heads off, laughing that "Aunty Lany said a bad word!" I made my eyes go wide and smacked myself on the hand. They laughed and went to play, pulling Perrin along with him.
I said hi to Lucy, who was grinning like a crazy woman but trying hard not to. I laughed at her, blushing furiously. "Stop it," I told her. She just shook her head.
"Come on! Why didn't you tell us? Is he as nice in real life as he seems? Oh God, is he as hot? What's he like?" Lucy gushed.
"Oi," Dave said to her. "Ease up." Lucy just laughed and brushed him off.
"Yeah, he is as nice, really sweet. Funny, exciting and yes, very hot." We giggled.
"Awww," Lucy sighed. "Lana, I'm happy for you. I didn't even know you were dating again."
"Well, yeah, I only started a few months ago. Liam's the only one I had any real interest in."
"How'd you meet him?" Lucy asked. Dave nodded, also wanting to know.
I told them about the Will/Liam thing. They didn't seem to think it was as big a deal as I had thought, but I guess they weren't the ones who went through it. I told them a bit about what happened when we meet, how we had spent the last two weekends together. I left out all the gory details. I also told them about the plan for this week, the premiere, and asking Liam if he wanted to spend Easter Sunday with us.
Lucy squealed and jumped up and down. Dave rolled his eyes at her and agreed it would be good to meet him.
"You know Mum will be there, right?" Dave said.
"Yeah, I know." I scoffed. "Maybe Liam will be the guy to meet her expectations finally."
Dave laughed at that, "Yeah, well, he's got money, so she should be happy about that. He's not a CEO, though, so you still might be in trouble." He was probably right.
My phone rang then, and it was Liam. I must have had a massive smile on my face because Lucy made an "ooooh" noise at me. I hushed her and went outside.
"Hey," I said, my voice was already breathy.
"Hi, Sweetheart," Liam sounded a bit groggy.
"Did you just wake up?"
"Hmm, yes. Sorry. You should have woken me up. I didn't get to say goodbye." He sounded like he was pouting.
"Yeah, I know. But you just looked so sweet laying there, snoring like a chainsaw."
"I do not snore like a chainsaw." He paused, "do I?"
I laughed, "No. You do snore, but it's pretty soft."
He laughed. Then he asked, "are you at your brother's house?"
"Yeah."
"I will let you get back to it then. Call me later tonight?"
"Yeah, I will." I paused, building up the courage to say what I wanted to say, but Liam beat me to it.
"Thank you, Lana."
"For what?"
"For forgiving my bullshit and for pushing you. For letting me get close to you. For letting me be with you. For trying to fit into my world when I know it scares you. For being you. For everything."
For once, I didn't feel like I had to make a joke or change the subject. But I also didn't know what to say. "Thank-you." It was all I had.
"Call me tonight, Sweetheart?" Liam asked again.
I agreed, then hung up.
After dinner, Perrin and I went home. I didn't feel like staying later. The kids were disappointed, but I was tired. I knew it would be a big week, and I wanted to try to get a good night's sleep.
I called Riza on the way home, and we talked a bit about the weekend. She told me a bit about her work and her arsehole boss. I asked her if I could speak to Jen for a minute.
"Sure, but why?"
"Well," I said dramatically. "I'm going to a premiere on Thursday evening, and I need someone to do my hair and make-up."
"Jen, get over here!" Riza yelled, and her voice was so loud through my car speakers that Perrin barked.
"Christ, Riz."
She laughed and said, sorry. Before she handed me to Jen, she said, "Thanks Lana, she will be so happy."
"Why will I be happy?" Jen asked. I told her, and she was quiet a minute. "Really, Lana?"
"Yeah, who else would I get to do it?"
"Can I put it on Instagram? Like a picture of you two all ready?"
I knew she would ask that. She did it for most of her clients. "Yeah, but don't mention anything about it before then. Just after I'm ready, you can put a picture up. I don't know if Liam will want to be mentioned or have a picture, but I'm happy for you to ask him."
"Oh, Lana, thank you! This could boost my business."
"I know, that's why I'm ok with it. I mean, there's going to be photos out there of me anyway, so I hope it will help you get some more work."
Jen and I talked about what I was wearing and how I wanted my hair. I told her I had no idea, so she got all excited and said she knew exactly what to do. Before I hung up, I gave Jen the address and time and told her Liam asked if Riza could come because he wanted to meet her.
"Wow, Lana. You guys are serious, huh?"
"Yeah, Jen, I think we are." We hung up not long after that.
Later that night, I called Liam, and I told him I'd sorted Jen to come over and told Dave he would come for Easter.
He seemed pleased, and we talked a bit about Riza and Jen before I told Liam I was tired and wanted to go to sleep.
I was tired, but I couldn't sleep. My brain wouldn't shut off. I kept thinking about being at school tomorrow and seeing the parents. Then I started thinking about Thursday and what Myra and the others would think of me. What it would be like to do that walk down the red carpet. I know a lot of the press will just want photos of Liam, so I'll have to stand there looking like an idiot while he poses. But worse will be when I have to stand with him. I could just imagine pictures of us, Liam looking dashing and me looking like a deer in headlights.
I started Googling how to pose on the red carpeting even got out of bed and tried a few before feeling like a total dag and getting back into bed. I wanted to back out. I didn't want to do it. I couldn't believe I had said yes to it. But I remembered Liam's face when I said I would go, and I knew that's why I had said yes.
I thought about how sweet Liam had been to me all day, how beautiful he had made me feel, how he had tried to make the whole thing easier, how he had kissed me and held me. How he had whispered my name as we made love.
I felt the heat between my legs grow. I tossed and turned a bit, trying to make it go away. I felt hot, so I took my pyjamas off. I tossed and turned some more. I tried to ignore it but I couldn't.
I went to my draw and got out my rabbit-style vibrator. I touched myself, and I was ready for it. I closed my eyes as I slipped it inside. I thought about Liam as I did. He was thicker than my slim vibrator but just as long. I positioned its ear against my clit and put it to the setting and speed I liked.
I held it there. I thought of Liam's gravelly voice in my ear and could almost feel his breath on my neck. I let my free hand wander over my body, remembering watching as Liam touched me. I thought of how he looked at me sometimes with a small smile, his eyes dancing with amusement as his lip twitched.
As I got closer to the edge, I thought about earlier that day, the way he held me, how gentle and tender he was. I remembered how it felt as I kissed his chest and his hairs tickled my nose. I remembered his smell, earthy and masculine, like the bush after it rained. I fell over the edge when I remembered how he had called my name as he orgasmed, my own rippling through me in waves as his voice rang in my ears.
Not long after that, I finally fell asleep.
Part 18
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